By Alex McKeon, San Diego Athletic Communications

SAN DIEGO – Mental health is topic that generates stigma, but affects a large portion of both Americans and the world. University of San Diego junior McKenna Braegelmann is all too familiar with the struggles associated with mental health.
 
A native of Tacoma, Wash., Braegelmann has made an impact on the softball field as a talented left-handed pitcher, where she compiled a 9-3 overall record and a 2.58 ERA across 29 games in two seasons before missing the 2023 season due to injury.
 
Braegelmann's mental health journey began after an injury she suffered playing softball at just 14 years old.
 
"I had a line drive to the side of my head that resulted in a skull fracture and a brain bleed and so it was a very traumatic accident," said Braegelmann. "About six months later, I actually developed PTSD, where I'd have flashbacks when I was asleep or awake. I'd have panic attacks when I was pitching. I'd get so anxious and I developed the yips, because I couldn't pitch a strike to save my life."
 
Coming to college was the first time Braegelmann was able to address mental health issues in her life, creating an opportunity for healing while also diving into the untreated issues that plagued her young adult life.
 
"I dealt with that for three years and didn't deal with any other stuff until I came to college and then got help for the first time and went to see a sports psychologist here, which helped a ton. During that process I realized I had been living with anxiety and severe depression and then that following year I developed an eating disorder, which was all very difficult."
 
Braegelmann worked with sports psychologist, Dr. Shira Oretzky, who she credits with helping her start the process of healing from her mental trauma. Nevertheless, the potent effects of her anxiety and depression continued to rear their head.
 
"About a year and half ago, it all took a toll on me and it was weighing on me and it was too much and I was suicidal, but I was grateful because I had amazing support here. "On one of my lowest days, coach [Amber] Schisler actually was there to catch me at my lowest and the amount of support I have received from all of our coaching staff through this process has been insane and they are honestly the reason I am here today, so I can't really thank them enough."
 
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, with several impactful figures and organizations in sports stepping forward to help break the stigma. Athletes like Simone Biles, Kevin Love, Naomi Osaka, Michael Phelps, Dak Prescott and many more have come forward with their stories. Six sport unions – the NFL Players Association (NFLPA), National Basketball Players Association (NBPA), NHL Players' Association (NHLPA), MLB Players Association (MLBPA), MLS Players Association (MLSPA) and Women's National Basketball Players Association (WNBPA) recently joined together in a collaborative campaign to normalize mental health as part of our general and physical health.  
 
Nevertheless, the issues surrounding mental health still persist. According to a study done by the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) on mental health in college sports, one-in-five adults live with a mental health condition during their lifetime, but approximately 30% of women and 25% of men who are student-athletes report having anxiety.
 
For Braegelmann, the anxiety was a paralyzing sensation, that impacted everything from her education, athletic career and day-to-day life.
 
"With anxiety during my freshman year of college, in group settings, I wouldn't be able to speak. Like if it was in class, I wouldn't raise my hand in class because I'd be so anxious that I would screw something up. Palms were sweaty, heart rate would accelerate. Even if my name was remotely being called on in class and I knew the answer, but I couldn't say it. In pitching, I had a lot of anxiety around getting hit again and a lot of self-doubt that came with that of being afraid you can't leave this pitch there or else you're going to be hit again."
 
Depression crept into her life and found Braegelmann at a bizarre paradox, where her different mental health situations pushed into different results in the circle.
 
"There would be moments where I'd go completely numb and didn't know what was going on. I don't want to say I was in a bad mood, but it was more 'numby' and I didn't feel anything. I wasn't my normal happy self. It happened sometimes when I played or at practice and if I go numb, it sounds bad, but I pitch better, because there is no emotion behind it."
 
As Braegelmann started to reach out for help, she began to make the transition from the role of survivor, to an advocate for others. Both her lowest point and turnaround happened to coincide with the experiences of another collegiate athlete affected by mental health issues.
 
"As soon as I hit that low point, and it was actually after Tyler Hilinski's family came to talk –  that was that night. I completely broke down and honestly am really grateful to be alive now because when I was going through this stress moment, coach Schisler was there and Madison [Earnshaw] and Courtney [Rose] were also there and they were there to witness that and were there to support me through that process which is more than I could ever ask for. Honestly, last May was the first time I truly, publicly shared my story so this type of stuff is fairly new, but I've finally gotten to the place where I was able to talk a little bit more about it."
 
Hiliniski was a football player at Washington State, who sadly took his own life in 2018 following a battle of his own with mental health struggles. His family set up the foundation 'Hilinski's Hope' to raise awareness about mental health. Braegelmann has also turned to advocacy and hopes to break the stigma around mental health.
 
"First off, the conversation [around mental health] because I think there's still that stigma. It's gotten better but there's a stigma that associates, especially in sports like an athlete with being weak and sports try and teach you to push through pain, mental and physical, all that type of thing. I guess it starts with conversation and bringing that conversation from coaches to players and creating an environment where, which I feel like our coaches have done a great job of over the past few years, we're able to talk about this stuff when we're struggling and we're able to ask for help."
 
Braegelmann has been involved in a number of initiatives, including spearheading San Diego softball's mental health awareness game in February. Her most recent project has her rallying her number of friends across several sports at the University of San Diego behind a clothing line called the Words I Wish I Heard Project.
 
"I was reaching out to a company a while back for something completely different and they came back to me with this thing where they were like 'hey, we can create a clothing line for you, where you could donate most of the profits. We will do the whole process, we will do the shipping, deal with customer service' and I was like, ok, absolutely. I already had this vision of what I wanted, because I love all those clothing brand type of things, so they helped me draw it up. [The company is] called 'Shine the Light On' and they are wonderful people to deal with, but what's so cool is that 60% of our profits are going back to other non-profits, which is super exciting and it has had tremendous success.
 
Braegelmann has spread the clothing brand amongst some of her best friends in softball, women's soccer and women's basketball at San Diego and has already sold nearly 200 products in the early start of the project.
 
"We've had such a tremendous success with it, that they want to create more of the clothing line in different designs, different colors. I'm really excited with that and I'm going to bring this one to the team and want us as a team to kind of design something that can be special to us."
 
Despite the struggle she still faces, Braegelemann is grateful for all of the support she's received and wants to assist others who are facing similar issues. When asked about her advice for the countless other athletes who may be dealing with similar issues, Braegelmann left a message of support and hope.
 
"I think the feelings that I had associated with all of this was the sense of feeling alone and that no one was going through what I was going through. I'd honestly just tell them that this moment you're dealing with, the hard moment is going to pass and they always do. I used to hate hearing that, but it is true and don't be afraid to lean on your people, lean on people you trust and it doesn't have to start with telling them your life story or anything, just saying hey, I feel anxious, or hey, I feel kind of weird and just kind of starting that conversation and letting people know how you're feeling to be able to have support and to not be afraid to reach out to your coaches or to someone, because your life is so much bigger than your sport."